multe idei comprimate in putine randuri.

m-am plictisit.

pe bune, m-am plictisit sa-mi spuneti ce sa fac sau ce sa nu. si sa imi scoateti ochii cu fiecare greseala sau intentie. si m-am plictisit de orasul asta, mereu la fel, atat de neinteresant si de anost.

mi-ar placea sa pot sa plec. undeva unde sa fie zapada afara si cald in cafenele. cu un soare de dimineata trecand printr-o fereastra mare si muzica linistita. undeva unde sa o iau de la capat. cu un "buna" timid, soptind un nume ales cu grija, nici prea comun, nici prea strident. apoi discutii despre vreme, muzica, viata. si o despartire surprinzatoare.

mi-ar placea sa las un semn de intrebare in viata unui strain.

mi-ar placea sa stiu ca daca intr-o zi chiar as pleca, total neprevazut, fara sa las vreun semn sau vreo veste, unii oameni chiar s-ar ingrijora. sau macar s-ar intreba ce e cu mine.

e amuzant pentru ca in graba sa ne traim propriile vieti uitam de unele vorbe, de unele promisiuni in care poate chiar am crezut la inceput, inainte sa intervina alte lucruri mai importante. bac-ul, facultatea, viitorul.

si ne grabim, parca ziua nu mai are sufieciente ore. si n-avem timp sa mai vorbim, sa ne mai plimbam, sa ne mai amintim intamplari de demult. "oh, ce vremuri.." spunem, sau un "ce-am fost si ce-am ajuns." e ciudat ca ne dam seama cat am decazut/maturizat/schimbat.

nu se poate.. iar ajung la stari de melancolie, cand hei, e 2012, ar trebui sa fiu fericita, nu stiu ce urmeaza.

asadar, rezolutia mea pentru anul in curs: sa fiu fericita, cat mai des si cat mai simplu.

nimic,nimic,nimic..!!

pfaii si mai sunt momente de-astea, cand ma buseste asa din neant cate-o stare de melancolie, de un dor fantastic, impulsiv, in care ma jur ca daca [...] as face, si-as drege, si totul s-ar schimba. e un dor de-ala tampit, ca nici nu ar trebui sa existe de fapt. pentru ca mult timp parca n-a trecut, macar teoretic, si nimic n-ar trebui sa fie schimbat. dar parca au trecut luni de zile si atatea s-au intamplat si brusc totul e altfel. pentru ca e de subliniat faptul ca nu poti sa-ti propui sa simti ceva, sau dimportiva, sa nu mai simti nimic, pe sistemul bag-tai, si chiar sa te astepti sa mearga.. oooh si de cate ori nu mi-am propus. de cate ori n-am zis: "de maine gata, e un nou inceput" sau alte variatii ale aceleiasi idei. si,si,si ce se intampla? ajung in acelasi punct mort. si realizez ca nu au fost de ajuns acele cateva zile sau saptamani si ca orice progres cat de mic se poate duce dracului doar intr-un inceput de noapte de acorduri de chitara ale unor melodii care numai acolo te duc cu gandul..

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That awkward moment what you wake up after a really good dream and you're like 'FFF Y CAN'T I LIVE IN THAT DREAM FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?!!'

zoom in =)))

error at this point.

plec. cum o sa ma intorc ramane de vazut.

REPEAT: TRACK

Chase & Status - Time

If you can find the time
To give your love to me
I will wait for you
If that's all you need
If you can find the time
If ever you're free
Just drop me a line
And tell me where you'll be
I'll be right here
If you can find the time
Just be sincere
If you can find the time
I'll wait for you
But if you can't find the time
Then cut me loose

Cause I don't have the time
And I don't have the patience
What do you take me for?
Why am I still waiting?
Cause while you decide.
I'm fucking suffocating.
Cause if you can't find the time
My bleeding heart won't make it x2

If you can find the time
To give your love to me
Just drop me a line
And tell me where you'll be
I'll be right here
If you can find the time
Just be sincere

Cause I don't have the time
And I don't have the patience
What do you take me for?
Why am I still waiting?
Cause while you decide.
I'm fucking suffocating.
Cause if you can't find the time
My bleeding heart won't make it x3

I'll be right here
If you can find the time
Just be sincere
If you can find the time
I'll wait for you
But if you can't find the time
Then cut me loose
Cause I don't have the time
And I don't have the patience
What do you take me for?
Why am I still waiting?
Cause while you decide.
I'm fucking suffocating.
Cause if you can't find the time
My bleeding heart won't make it x3

Cause I don't have the time x2
My bleeding heart won't make it

yeah. as i thought, it was too late.

too much too fast. woah. i need to slow down.

sentimental shit, part 2

defineste-mi "a iubi". sa te gandesti fara sa vrei la el de cateva ori pe zi, sa faci legaturi si analogii la ce spune lumea prin jurul tau care sa te duca la el? sa-l fi visat macar o data? sa speri mereu la un semn, iar daca apare, sa-ti ridice inima si stomacul in gat? sa eziti pe langa el? si asta dor din dorinta sa-i fie lui bine, chiar daca asta nu e la fel de bine si pentru tine? sa-ti pui toata speranta intr-un fix [cum e acum...], si sa ai un mic regret la fara/si un minut? si siguranta cand il stii langa tine? ultimul gand inainte sa adormi? si cand se termina iubirea si incepe obisnuinta? sau iubirea e obisnuinta? .. vreau iubirea aia din filme, mistuitoare, sa ma impinga la gesturi necugetate pentru dovezi,sa nu put trai fara. hm, poate ma amagesc si asta nu exista. o alta idee hollywoodiana care ne-a intrat in cap? .. nu serios, cum e sa iubesti, cei care ati fost acolo? se poate descrie sau e ca o culoare de baza: rosu e rosu oricum i-ai spune. imi pun atatea intrebari, nerabdatoare ca o incepatoare dupa primul fum, "m-a luat?". si care a fost reala dintre toate, vreuna macar? vreau sa vad unicornii si curcubeile si norisorii, vreau zambetul continuu cu falcute si impulsivitatea si boost-ul de energie..

message ended at 02/01/2011, 0:28 a.m.

insomnii

azi a nins... si m-am gandit la tine. poate e o tampenie, dar asa fac mereu. un semn de intrebare... poate m-am pripit. poate te-ai fi putut schimba. daca am fi lasat nervii si orgoliile... fulgii nu ar fi fost atat  de agitati, atat de vii. si cu orasul care dormea linistit sub ei. l-am mai fi vazut o data. ca in seara cu multa vodka, mers serpuit, mesaje desenate pe masinile albe si saruturi de noapte buna cu imbratisari calde din care nu m-as mai fi desprins... mi-e dor de tine fraiere, ceva-ceva chiar, dar niciodata suficient cat sa-mi calc orgoliul... asa ca fulgii tot cad, isi vad de drumul lor, dezamagiti poate putin ca nu ne-au gasit tot impreuna.

message ended at 01/23/2011, 1:42 a.m.

dreams, baby.

what is it with us girls that we just can't get enough of douchebags? and when a nice guy comes along, we just send him and all his cute habits and expectations back to his momma, 'cause then was the time they worked. because nowadays, you can rarely win a girl over with some flowers, cute notes left randomly in her room, many phone calls, nice small presents and looking neat all the time. call me superficial for saying this out loud, but a car, some muscles, fluffy, big hair, texting and sometimes paying for her drink is more likely to work.

hollywood thought us, among other cool stuff like: how cars explode when you shoot them, the bomb won't be defused until the very last second, college is all about parties and how much you can drink, how to separate the "cool people" from the "nerds", etc. that we all get, finally, one way or another, the bad guy we've always secretly loved, and succeed in turning him into a nice guy. personally, i think that by doing that he would have lost all of his charm, but back to the point i was trying to make. so mainly, we spend most time searching for one guy we can fix, so that we could have the "happily ever after" at the end of the film.

...

WHAT THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH US?! no really.

we all have faults, both girls and boys, some bigger and some less important, but what we girls do is try to find some hot guy with issues, ['cause we all wish we could be the one that calms him down and keeps him out of a fight, the one that he will stay faithful and loyal to, without ever looking at other girls again, the one that can make him stop smoking, drinking, doing drugs, dangerous sports,whatever] and hope that somehow our influence would be so great and so compelling that he would change his old ways, just so he can be with us, making each of us the "happiest girl in the world", and of course, so all the other bitches would just die of envy. 

and the worst part of it all, we just can't help it. all the girls want a bad guy. there's just something about them.. damn hollywood.

so boys, if you're good guys, somehow good-looking and not a total loser or idiot, listen here: act bad. bitches love bad.

feel free to contradict me if i'm wrong.

here i go again

mult timp a trecut de cand nu am mai scris ceva.. mi s-a facut dor..  si acum un scurt moment emotionant. gata. woah. 2011. esti nebun?! marele INCEPUT. RE-inceput as putea adauga. ca de fiecare data. sperante si vise, de parca aceasta noapte ar aduce cine stie ce schimbari.. asadar intre doua cani de ceai fierbinte sa-mi recapat vocea, si dintre muuulte paturi care nu ma incalzesc mai deloc, dupa cele mai bune 4 ore de somn din viata mea [tiny moment where i bitch about not having slept properly in the last 3 nights] privesc inapoi la anul ce-a trecut.. multe raceli:)) si nopti semi/ne-dormite. concerte,nebunii. tequilla. oh good times. calatorii. and many moments when you realize who's got your back no matter how badly you fuck up. multumesc. poate mi-ar fi placut sa-mi fi acordat prezumtia de nevinovatie pana la proba contrarie. si la naiba stiu ca m-am dat peste cap sa va fac pe plac uneori. pe de alta parte, poate ca eu sunt alta. CLAR sunt alta. si imi e mai bine asa. regrete? 2 sau 3 situatii cand poate ca as fi facut altfel, niste decizii ce ar fi putut schimba multe.. iar la final, poate un "imi pare rau" sincer as mai vrea sa trimit catre doua persoane, daca ar mai schimba ceva, iar restul toate urarile de bine, fericire si orice altceva va doriti.

"may the best of your todays be the worst of your tomorrows"

Bold what you like

1) Striped socks.
2) Winter vacation.
3) Minty breath.
4) Warm hands.
5) Sublime.
6) Proving people wrong.
7) Sketching.
8) Steel drums.
9) Roses.
10) The Sims 2.
11) Kissing.
12) Backpacks.
13) Cloudy weather.
14) Picking out presents for people.
15) Kevin Flamme.
16) Boys.
17) Old movies.
18) Reminiscing.
19) Mario Party.
20) Orange juice.
21) Interesting people.
22) Late-night texting.
23) Cool teachers.
24) Levi jeans.
25) The city bus.
26) Cardigans.
27) Sneezing.
28) Drinking cold water.
29) Finding money in my pockets.
30) Making connections.
31) Books.
32) Bolding surveys.
33) A clean bedroom.
34) Collages.
35) Meeting people.
36) Comfortable positions.
37) Headphones.
38) Marathons.
39) Packing to go somewhere.
40) Mascara.
41) Daydreaming.
42) Possibilities.
43) Ramen.
44) Notepads.
45) Burt’s Bees.
46) Babysitting.
47) Actually getting homework done.
48) Feeling good about myself.
49) Complimenting people.
50) PostSecret.
51) Confiding in people.
52) Themed things.
53) T shirts.
54) Gentlemen.
55) Singing harmonies.
56) Being surprised.
57) New clothes.
58) Target.
59) Long eyelashes.
60) Bright Eyes.
61) Naps.
62) Nicely-dressed boys.
63) Barack Obama.
64) Tweezed eyebrows.
65) Inside jokes.
66) Eye-contact.
67) Acronyms.
68) Thinking.
69) Animals.
70) Collecting turtles.
71) Understanding.
72) Friendship bracelets.
73) Meaningful items.
74) Simon & Garfunkel.
75) Silly pictures.
76) Raspberries.
77) Not going to school.
78) Star Trek.
79) Reading blogs.
80) Showering away problems.
81) Worn-in shoes.
82) Paranormal televison shows.
83) Facebook chat.
84) Baked ziti.
85) Visiting my elementary school.
86) Soft blankets.
87) Big words.
88) Staying up late.
89) Second chances.
90) Piggy-back rides.
91) Saying words over and over until they sound really strange.
92) Surrealism.
93) The feeling of relief after going pee.
94) Home videos.
95) Unusual names.
96) Diving boards.
97) Smilies.
98) Cats.
99) Feeling better.
100) Considerate people.

bipolar

You have to be two different people. The saint and the sinner. The librarian and the stripper.

Prove me I'm wrong

It's not gonna work. You know why? Because this is fun. You think of something to make me miserable, I think of something to make you miserable... It's a game, and I'm gonna win, because I got a head start: You are already miserable.

:) fml

hell yeah. p-p-parteh everyday

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